I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was born a porn star she said
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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