I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My ass is underappreciated
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
