Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
