She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
