Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
