Pants 0. Shit 1.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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