Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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