Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
