"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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