I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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