Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
