It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Someone signed my nipple.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
