i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
