I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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