her vagine was all disorganized.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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