So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
