You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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