Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
