sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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