Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
