i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
