He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
