I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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