i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
