dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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