If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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