escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
