i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
