dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
