the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
