Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I donβt think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize