was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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