We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize