Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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