i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
