Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That accounts for only three of the penises
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
