There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize