I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
