didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
