I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
