This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
