I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
