He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
