She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
