When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
