I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
