I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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