remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
