I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
