My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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