Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
