I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize