Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
