Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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