I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
