Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
