fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
