So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
