im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
