I heard we made out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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